Often I recall my excitement when - 15 years ago - my first foreign business trip took me into the heart of the Parisian business district called La Défense. For a period of several months I flew between Eindhoven and Paris and there was no greater feeling waking up in your own bed on a Sunday morning knowing that you will stroll over the buzzing Avenue des Champs-Elysées at night.
Of course I noticed the troops of business men who were exceedingly bored at the airport. While I was jumping around in amazement, my fellow travellers gazed expressionlessly on the board showing that the flight is delayed, again. To my surprise I noticed that I joined their zombie routine much sooner than expected. Hardly anyone talks while waiting for the plane, no words are exchanged with the passengers next to you. The only knowledge you gain from the strangers around you was their preference of liquid poison.
Now, after all these years I recently discovered that flying is much more exciting. You are able to have very personal conversations with total strangers and build a valuable network of powerful business men, published authors and university professors. I discovered the ultimate question that allows you to build a network of influential people. And I am delighted to share this with you.
The ultimate networking question can be asked to any stranger in any environment. But is has proven to be especially powerful while travelling in a train or plane. Then you are in a situation that you have to share your personal space with a total stranger. The normal behaviour is to avoid any form of contact. It is also not expected to have a conversation. I agree that the initial request for permission to ask a question will be greeted with a polite but defensive approval. Of course this is only possible after you had the opportunity to have eye contact and were able to share a nodding acceptance of each others existence.
Before sharing the ultimate networking question, let me explain how I have discovered it. It was a shocking realisation to accept that people are not interested in me. Many times I tried to start a conversation based on my believes and interests. You will agree that no-one wants to be stuck in a discussion that does not appeal to you. So the best antidote is to do the absolute opposite. So I decided to focus on listening. Ask the total stranger a simple but profound personal question and you will be entertained for as long as you want to. Every conversation that I have had after asking the ultimate networking question changed me as a person. The more often you ask this question, the easier it becomes to listen. And the ability to listen is key for any consultant.
Ok, it is about time to share the ultimate networking question: Imagine you take a day off, knowing that you have no commitments on that day, then what would you do?
Notice that the ultimate networking question has three parts.
'Imagine you take the day off'. It is important to create an atmosphere of desire. Everyone would like to have the opportunity to have a short holiday. Even if it is only for one day. Immediately it brings you in a creative state of mind. You will get instant images of fun things that you can do. That is a great start.
'Knowing that you have no commitments on that day'. Fantastic. You are allowed to be totally selfish. As the word 'commitment' is associated with a restriction, taking away any form of obligation will free the mind and emphasises that you are allowed to enjoy the day.
'What would you do?'. This is an open question. It is impossible to say yes or no. It forces an elaborate personal answer. You will get an honest answer when your body language shows that you are genuinely interested.
By asking the ultimate networking question, you trigger a long conversation. Initially it may be greeted with silence because it will be unexpectedly meaningful. Just wait patiently and you will be rewarded. Then just focus on responding on the information that flows in your direction by bouncing more questions. You will find common ground eventually. Then you can emphasise the shared interest, which keeps the conversion enjoyable and interesting.
Eventually you will be asked a personal question in return. That will be the moment that you are allowed to share details about your life. But stay alert and refocus on listening by asking a new set of questions. Remember that your goal is to listen, listen and listen. The only thing you should not forget is to give your business card while thanking for the enlightening discussion when it is time to part ways.
Do not be surprised when you receive an email or call afterwards.
Good luck and let me know your success stories.
Regards,
Isard Haasakker.
